Little Lessons On
Growing Love
San Francisco’s Best Advice About Creating Amazing Relationships
And All Things
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Imagine yourself sitting in a coffee shop with one of your friends. You’re chatting and sipping your lattes while you’re casually people watching.
The door swings open and you catch a glimpse of the person who walks in. Instantly, you feel those butterflies in your stomach or chest or wherever. You just can’t help but notice how attractive they are.
Do you ever wonder what’s really going through your head during those moments?
Social media has totally revolutionized this concept and made it possible for us to stay readily connected with loved ones every single day. Now, through the likes of Facebook and Instagram, we can see pictures or updates of friends and family on the regular. So when we do see them in person again, it’s as though little time has been lost in between.
Dating in this tech-and-app age can be quite a challenge. It's even harder if you fumble on the first few steps with someone new. Don't shoot yourself in the foot! Do you know how you score on a D-IQ (Intelligence Quotient for Dating) test? Here are some basic dating tips to help you with your D-IQ.
Although San Francisco is a vibrant, bustling city, it’s also a uniquely difficult place to find a long term partner. With over 7 million people in SF’s Bay Area, it’s easy to assume that anyone looking for love would have no trouble finding someone to partner up with. Here’s why you need a dating and relationship therapist to completely revolutionize your love life.
I am a relationship therapist in San Francisco. I know relationships. And I have something important to tell you about dating, marriage, and relationships:
In relationship it’s inevitable that we’ll step on each other’s toes and have different needs that conflict. And it’s likely we’ll want or need different things at the same time. When this happens, the situation is ripe for conflict, hurt and disappointment.
In case you didn’t get the memo, communication is the thing that makes relationships click. Well, its one of the things. Maybe one of the most important things. Intimacy, vulnerability and expression of care are also huge, but they all rest on the basic skill of communication.
Not everyone is super skilled or comfortable with “real” communication. But since you’ve decided you like this person so much, why not talk to them? And why not really talk. Practice it, grow, stretch a little if these kinds of questions are a stretch. They’ll feel better, you’ll feel better, and you’ll be investing in your mutual long-term happiness.
I recently had a client who was struggling with the all too familiar experience of dating anxiety or what we often call attachment anxiety. We had had a fairly productive session helping her re-regulate her nervous system, but I knew she was still leaving with some angst and discomfort given the unpredictable nature of dating.
I wanted to be helpful outside of the session by sending her some tools and tips for dealing with anxiety and insecurity. I was looking for a quick blog with some tips that I could send her that could help her in between our sessions, but didn't find something that I liked so I decided to write my own, both for her and for you.
Breaking Up Sucks! Your heart aches, your thoughts spiral, you don’t want to eat, leave your darkened room or do many of the things you need to do just to get through your day and keep from losing your livelihood.
We all know breaking up sucks just from having been through it, but neuroscience has recently given us a leg-up on recovering from the heart-sickness that comes from losing someone you love and have been attached to. I’ve written a guest blog-post on Medium with other breakup advice, but keep reading for my latest thoughts.
