Are You Worried About The Future Of Your Relationship?

Are you questioning if you’re in a healthy relationship? Do you feel like you’re not being heard, acknowledged, or valued by your partner? Is it hard to communicate how you feel without conversations breaking down into arguments and shouting matches? Are you worried that your emotional and physical connection with each other is fading?

The hassle and stress of modern life has a way of affecting us all, and our partnerships can encounter challenges as a result. Relationship issues aren’t something that usually happen spontaneously. They often arise slowly as a subtle rift that develops between you and your partner, leading to disappointment or dissatisfaction later on.

For instance, you may feel unappreciated by your partner or insecure about where your relationship stands. It may seem as if no matter what you do, you just can’t seem to “get it right.” You likely feel that if you could just get your partner to talk to you, listen, or change their behavior, things would get better. But unfortunately, that’s often not the case.

If you find yourself in an unhappy relationship that’s accompanied by doubt, disconnectedness, or  persistent arguments, couples counseling may be able to help you repair and restore your connection.

All Relationships Require Work

Most couples experience struggles within their relationship at some point. In fact, conflict can be a sign of love and demonstrate a desire to be in a better place. But conflict can also stem from an inability to effectively respond to and communicate with your partner.

The more time you spend together, the greater the chance you’ll encounter obstacles in the road. Sometimes, a relationship can lose the comfort it once provided or one of you may not feel secure enough to admit vulnerability. In some cases, one partner may want greater space when the other wants to spend more time together. You may feel insufficient or that your relationship isn’t worth it because your partner doesn’t appreciate your efforts to make them happy. Conversely, you may feel your partner doesn’t understand your own personal needs.

The resulting feelings of insecurity and anxiety can cause habituated reactions that often create more stress, leading to a negative cycle of behavior that only perpetuates the situation. Some individuals withdraw, whereas others may push harder for acceptance and connection, but neither one of these actions is very beneficial. Often, negative cycles of behavior are indicative of an underlying issue and result in reactionary responses rather than thoughtful and empathetic responses that are aligned with the needs and desires of your partner.

However, through couples counseling you can learn to identify the true source of your relationship’s problems, understand why you react the way you do, and learn more productive ways of communicating and relating to your partner.

Couples Counseling Can Help You Grow Your Relationship

I’ve adopted an approach to helping couples improve their connection that doesn’t add any unnecessary stress to their situation. When you arrive, you’ll be welcomed by a warm, comfortable atmosphere designed to foster an environment of equality, empathy, and understanding while we explore the different aspects of your relationship. I've worked with pioneers in the field of couples therapy like Stan Tatkin, Sue Johnson, John Gottman, Dan Wile, and Rob Fisher, combining the best of their approaches into an optimal personal approach which uses a balance of practical techniques, skills, and tools supported largely by both Stan Tatkin’s Psychobiological Approach To Couples Therapy and Sue Johnson’s EFT couples therapy and attachment theory to help address deeper issues driving the problems and disconnection you feel in your relationship.

EFT couples therapy and PACT are both highly respected and utilized approaches and EFT is backed by over 30 years of research. I’m confident they can help you relieve the distress in your relationship. Our first few sessions will be vital in helping me to understand your unique circumstances and formulate a plan to help you approach your goals. You can expect us to explore how you communicate, form attachments, have learned to relate to each other, and we’ll identify the specific issues you’re experiencing.  

Some couples may find they’re experiencing troubles in the bedroom that are preventing them from a healthy and satisfying sex life together. But there’s often deeper issues of intimacy, emotional connection, or safety within the relationship that may need to gently explored in order to get to a better place together. Discussing these topics in therapy may feel daunting at first, but with time and effort you can work to reconnect with your partner and uncover new dimensions of physical communication and connectedness within your relationship.

Every relationship is unique, and as a result, each one has its own trajectory. Relationships can allow us to do some of our most profound personal growth and healing, but they often aren’t perfect, and they require effort if we want them to grow with us. Although falling in love happens, great relationships don’t usually just happen on their own. Really great relationships require work and commitment to learn how you and your partner best function together.

For couples planning their next stage of life together, premarital counseling can help prepare you for the future and ensure you’re equipped for the challenges ahead. If you feel your relationship is in a make-or-break stage, working with a couples counselor can provide you with a safe, supportive environment that allows you to address issues productively. Or if you’re in a later stage of life, marriage counseling can help you cope with the changes and challenges that accompany an established, evolving romance.

With sufficient research-backed evidence, my own experiences in relationship counseling, and a constantly evolving approach, I’m positive I can help you achieve your goals. Counseling is not only a chance to heal your relationship, but it provides you with an opportunity to invest in yourself, allowing personal growth and knowledge you’ll be able to take into other relationships as well.

It’s natural to have questions or concerns about therapy…

Is the cost of therapy worth it?

Couples counseling is an investment in your relationship, life, and personal growth. I believe you’re extremely fortunate to be in a situation where there’s the desire to improve it. In our sessions, you will learn skills to become more compassionate, understanding, and thoughtful, and therapy can provide you an opportunity to invest in your personal growth as well.

What if I don’t have the time?

The truth is, right now you are likely wasting valuable time and energy simply rehashing old arguments and issues without making any progress. Relationship counseling can help facilitate the often difficult conversations needed in order to strengthen your relationship and have a better flow in your day to day life. It also can provide you with a specific place to work through personal issues that may be contributing to your situation. By dedicating just a little bit of your time, you can stop the futile cycle of anger and frustration and really take some steps that will save you time, money, and even potentially heartache down the road.  

Does therapy actually work?

There’s no guarantee that therapy is going to heal your relationship, but the effort to inquire and reach out about therapy is already a good sign that you’re headed in the right direction. We have a lot of experience over the past four decades telling us that couples therapy often helps and specifically with EFT counseling, research shows your chances are high. A large part of the success, however, is up to you and how willing you are to take the right steps towards growth. Even in the worst case scenario, therapy provides you a space that will allow personal growth and improvement within how you approach future relationships and how you find satisfaction in your own life.

Create The Love You Want

Regardless of what stage your relationship is in, I’m here to help you and your partner foster your love and deepen your connection. If you’re still wondering if couples counseling is right for you, take my relationship quiz or schedule a free 30-minute phone consultation with me by calling 415-797-8297.

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