It’s no secret that dating from San Francisco to Silicon Valley can be quite a challenge.
Forget running into a special someone at the grocery store or meeting in line at a coffee shop. Everyone out here is busy swiping left and right on Tinder, Bumble or The League!
Your parents’ generation may have kept things strictly monogamous. But don’t be surprised if you meet quite a few people in the Bay Area who would rather keep their relationships open.
Think children might be in your future? Well, if you’re seeking a family-oriented partner, you might feel like you’re always missing the mark. The fast-paced lifestyle and high costs of living in the San Francisco area often mean that you’re more likely to meet child-free people who would rather adopt a dog than have kids.
Don’t get too discouraged, though. You’re not on a hopeless quest. Dating in the Bay Area might be tough, but the right one is out there.
Here’s how to find true love in SF, Silicon Valley and anywhere in between (not just sex).
Get Clear on What You Want
If you genuinely want to find love in SF, you can’t just get out there and hope you’ll stumble on it somehow. You need to have a game plan. That starts with getting clear on what you really want.
When you take some time alone to clarify what you’re really looking for in a relationship, you won’t get bogged down by going on dates with people who are all wrong for you. You’ll be able to be completely honest with potential partners.
Dating with intention means taking things slow, being real with yourself and the people you meet, and not being afraid to fly solo if red flags start popping up.
If your intention is to find love, not just a hookup, you need to keep moving forward with the goal of fulfilling that intention. Pinning your hopes on people who just aren’t on the same page as you will only serve to distract you from your real intentions.
Distinguish Your Fantasies From Real Romance
Sometimes, we don’t realize that the reason we can’t find a partner who meets our expectations is that our expectations are way too high for anyone to meet. Remember, being with a loving partner won’t solve all of your problems. It might create some additional ones.
Don’t look for someone to complete you. Look for someone to complement you! The best relationships occur when two people who were happy as individuals come together.
Love Yourself First
When you’re dating in a tough “market” like…well anywhere from The City to The Town to The Peninsula, you definitely need to have some solid self-love practices down. When you truly love yourself, people can tell. It shines through in your words and your actions.
Yes, it takes work. And it goes so much deeper than simply thinking positive thoughts and repeating affirmations.
Take good care of yourself, focus on your own physical and mental health, and spend plenty of quality time with your loved ones. Save some energy for yourself, and don’t get too caught up in the dating scene!
Talk It Out
Have you been trying for ages to find the right person for you? But no matter what you try, you still feel like you’re not any closer to meeting them than you were a year ago?
There’s no shame in talking to a professional who specializes in relationship therapy. Sometimes, we don’t even realize how we might be self-sabotaging in our journeys to find love. Getting some feedback from a neutral third party can be life-changing.
If you’re hoping to find real love in or around The Bay, but you’re tired of dating apps and mind games, I want to help. Relationship therapy can turn your love life around and help you approach dating in a whole new way.
Contact me today to find out more about how my approach to relationship and dating therapy can help. Feel free to leave a comment below, drop me an email, or if you want some help changing how you relate and create the love you want in your life - feel free to use the contact form to request a free 15 minute phone consultation. I am San Francisco’s resident relationship therapist helping successful couples and singles create the love and life that they want!