Most couples don’t sit down and create a shared code of conduct for how they want to treat each other—especially when things get hard. And yet, every couple has operating principles, whether they’re spoken or not.

Some are intentional and strengthening, and then there are the anti-principles—the unconscious agreements or tolerated behaviors that slowly erode trust, intimacy, and safety over time.

You’ve had this argument before—maybe ten, maybe a hundred times. One of you gets triggered. The other reacts. Then things spiral—again…

“I think we waited too long.” But here’s the thing I’ve seen again and again in couples therapy most of the time, it’s not too late. It’s just that the old strategies have stopped working, and no new ones have taken their place—yet.

One partner wants sex or wants it more often. The other doesn’t feel ready, interested, or safe enough to connect that way in the moment, or for longer.  But it doesn’t have to be a make or break issue for the relationship.

Most couples don’t actively decide how they want to treat each other. But here’s the problem: if you don’t create relationship principles on purpose, anti-principles will take over.

While the happiest time of the year it may be for some, unfortunately, the holidays can also bring up a lot for many of us. Whether it's visiting family, getting pulled into old roles and dynamics, the stress of traveling or shopping, the pain of isolation and loneliness, or conflict arising in partnerships and families... Here are some tips on how to manage and get through it with a few less bumps and bruises.

When partners are “paired”, like Bluetooth devices, they are connected.  When there's a problem, partners get disconnected and they need to re-pair. It usually takes a minute. Here are the most important guidelines for re-pairing (repairing) injuries.

Let’s relabel couples therapy as something like relationship training. I mean it seems obvious to take some sort of training in anything you want to do halfway decently. Why not do that with one of the most important things in your life, your relationship, family, or marriage?

Having an active sex life with your partner makes you both feel wanted and loved. If you’re frustrated by the lack of sex and intimacy in your relationship, figuring out the reason for the dry spell is the first step to fixing the issue.

Here are a few essential elements of every happy relationship. You and your partner might approach them in your own unique way, but if you’ve been feeling like something is “missing” in your relationship, it could be on this list!