Holiday Stress
Relationship
Survival Guide
The holidays can be one of the most joyful and, at the same time, stressful times of the year for couples. In between all of the cozy hot cocoa dates, snuggling on sleigh rides, and making New Year’s plans with friends, you might also be dealing with awkward encounters with your in-laws or budget woes.
When tensions are running high during the holidays, you might take out your frustrations on your partner, or you may notice that they’ve been doing the same to you.
How can you enjoy the holiday season as a couple without giving in to stress? Here are a few tips to keep your relationship feeling merry and bright.
1. Balance Time With Your Families
During the holiday season, your families will likely expect to see you both on a few occasions. The question of how to split your time fairly will inevitably come up. Have an open discussion about this early on and decide which events are most important to attend on each side. Try to divide your time evenly if possible so that no one feels left out.
2. Navigate Tricky Situations Together
As you attend family parties, you may face a prying question or two. Whether your in-laws are probing to find out if you plan on getting engaged or having a baby, it can leave the two of you feeling like you’re suddenly in the hot seat. If you know to expect these questions, it’s best to discuss beforehand how you’ll answer them. Make sure that you’re both on the same page. See my blog here on 5 Questions to ask each other for a better relationship.
3. Don’t Over Commit
It’s easy to find yourself overbooked during the holiday season. Your instinct is accepting every invite that comes along—why wouldn’t you want to enjoy your days off with your friends and family? But trying to attend every single event and packing your schedule is a recipe for stress. Have an honest conversation with your partner about what you two can really handle in terms of commitment, and don’t be afraid to say no.
4. Discuss Your Finances
One of the most common sources of holiday stress? Feeling like you can’t participate in all of the upcoming events or buy gifts for everyone important in your life without going into the red and racking up a huge credit card bill. Before it’s time to buy any gifts, talk to your partner about what you can realistically afford. Talking about finances can be uncomfortable, but this will give you peace of mind in the long run.
5. Stay Organized
One reason couples end up feeling so stressed during the holiday season? There’s so much to get done, from decorating the house to baking to buying gifts—and it feels like there’s so little time to do it! Before the season is in full swing, make a plan to decide who will be responsible for what, and keep a running to-do list to help you both stay on task. This will help you avoid scrambling at the last minute.
6. Express Gratitude
Finally, make sure to express your gratitude for each other whenever you get the chance. Above everything else, the holidays are a time to tell our loved ones just how much they mean to us. Sometimes, this message gets lost in all of the craziness of the season. Leave your partner little love notes, make time to go on fun dates, and do things just for the two of you—that’s what the holiday spirit is all about. (You can also read more here on repairing when things don’t go well with each other.)
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