Knowing you want help and need help with your relationship is the easy part.  You’re feeling unseen, unappreciated, repeatedly disappointed and pretty damn unsatisfied with him or her.  Now what?

Arguing and conflict that includes criticism, defensiveness and other elements of Dr. John Gottman’s 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse predict that a marriage will fail about 5 ½ years after the wedding.  So, whether you’re already married, or imagine yourself moving towards marriage with your love-bug, you can’t afford (emotionally or financially!) to let the arguments and disconnection continue.