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Bart Hatler
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Bart Hatler, MFT, San Francisco, California

Home
Specialties
Couples Counseling
Dating Therapy
Modalities
Emotionally Focused Therapy
About
Bart Hatler
My Philosophy
Media
FAQs
Blog
Contact
October 23, 2026
Dating
Bart Hatler
Emotionally Unavailable Partners: Why We're ...

Why are we sometimes drawn to people who can't give us the relationship we want? Explore how familiar patterns and fears of intimacy can influence attraction.

Emotionally Unavailable Partners: Why We're Drawn to Them
October 16, 2026
Dating
Bart Hatler
What Your Attraction Template Says About Your ...

Why are we repeatedly attracted to certain kinds of people? Your Attraction Template can help reveal the patterns, experiences, and relational dynamics that shape who feels compelling to you.

What Your Attraction Template Says About Your Love Life
October 9, 2026
Dating
Bart Hatler
How Childhood Experiences Shape Who We’re ...

Our childhood experiences can influence who we’re attracted to in ways we may not consciously recognize. Understanding these patterns can help us become more aware of what draws us toward particular people.

How Childhood Experiences Shape Who We’re Attracted To
October 2, 2026
Dating
Bart Hatler
Why Familiar Often Feels Like Chemistry

Why do certain people create such powerful chemistry? Sometimes what feels like attraction may also reflect familiar relational patterns operating outside our conscious awareness.

Why Familiar Often Feels Like Chemistry
September 25, 2026
Dating
Bart Hatler
What Is the Spark Between Two People?

Why do we feel an immediate spark with some people and not others? This article explores what romantic chemistry may be telling us—and what it can't tell us about a potential relationship.

What Is the Spark Between Two People?
Bart Hatler
August 24, 2019
Dating

The Reality of Dating in San Francisco: Why Is It So Annoyingly Hard?!

Bart Hatler
August 24, 2019
Dating

Dating is tougher in some cities than others. If you’ve ever complained about the San Francisco dating scene, you’re not alone! Here’s what makes dating in San Francisco so uniquely frustrating.

Bart Hatler
August 12, 2019
Dating

Are You Shooting Your Dating Life in the Foot--or Worse?!

Bart Hatler
August 12, 2019
Dating

Are you sick and tired of dating or relationships that don't work. Do you get sick and tired of meeting the wrong kind of person…the one’s that Don’t. Work. Out?  Ok, ready for this: Are YOU actually avoiding intimacy by pursuing certain types? 

Bart Hatler
October 15, 2018
Couples

The Right Way to Say, “I’m Sorry.”

Bart Hatler
October 15, 2018
Couples

In relationship it’s inevitable that we’ll step on each other’s toes and have different needs that conflict.  And it’s likely we’ll want or need different things at the same time.  When this happens, the situation is ripe for conflict, hurt and disappointment. So, when the dust has settled, how do you repair? 

Bart Hatler
October 4, 2018
Couples

5 Questions That Create Happy Relationships

Bart Hatler
October 4, 2018
Couples

Not everyone is super skilled or comfortable with “real” communication.  Here are five quick questions to help you out.

Bart Hatler
September 28, 2018
Dating

5 Ways to Soothe Dating Anxiety

Bart Hatler
September 28, 2018
Dating

I recently had a client who was struggling with the all too familiar experience of dating anxiety or what we often call attachment anxiety. Here are some tools and tips for dealing with anxiety and insecurity.

Bart Hatler
September 20, 2018
Dating

Heal From Your Breakup: How Neuroscience Can Help

Bart Hatler
September 20, 2018
Dating

Breaking Up Sucks!  Your heart aches, your thoughts spiral, you don’t want to eat, leave your darkened room. I’ve written a guest blog-post on Medium with other breakup advice, but keep reading for my latest thoughts.

3 Comments
Bart Hatler
September 13, 2018
Dating

Social Anxiety and West Coast Culture: How does it relate to my dating life?

Bart Hatler
September 13, 2018
Dating

I’ve long had a fascination with understanding the differences between East and West Coast culture in the US.  Could West Coast culture be affecting my dating life, let’s explore this…

Bart Hatler
September 6, 2018
Dating, Couples

Can I Have A Great Relationship Even If I Didn't See One Growing Up?

Bart Hatler
September 6, 2018
Dating, Couples

I never met my paternal grandfather so perhaps it warmed my heart a little to see a young boy get to be with his grandfather.  And in such a kind and affectionate way, somewhat uncharacteristic of an older generations emotional sophistication.  Can I have a great relationship even if I didn't see one growing up?

Bart Hatler
August 14, 2018
Dating

Part III: 3 Tips to Get Them to Swipe Right + Rewire Your Brain for Love

Bart Hatler
August 14, 2018
Dating

What is “enoughness” and what’s it got to do with dating? Let’s explore this.

Bart Hatler
August 7, 2018
Dating

Part II: 3 Tips to Get Them to Swipe Right + Rewire Your Brain for Love

Bart Hatler
August 7, 2018
Dating

So, how can self-love get me more swipes? Let’s see what role confidence can play in the dating scene.

Newer Posts
Older Posts

More Couples Counseling + Dating Therapy Blog Posts

Featured
Emotionally Unavailable Partners: Why We're Drawn to Them
October 23, 2026
Emotionally Unavailable Partners: Why We're Drawn to Them
October 23, 2026

Why are we sometimes drawn to people who can't give us the relationship we want? Explore how familiar patterns and fears of intimacy can influence attraction.

Read more →
October 23, 2026
What Your Attraction Template Says About Your Love Life
October 16, 2026
What Your Attraction Template Says About Your Love Life
October 16, 2026

Why are we repeatedly attracted to certain kinds of people? Your Attraction Template can help reveal the patterns, experiences, and relational dynamics that shape who feels compelling to you.

Read more →
October 16, 2026
How Childhood Experiences Shape Who We’re Attracted To
October 9, 2026
How Childhood Experiences Shape Who We’re Attracted To
October 9, 2026

Our childhood experiences can influence who we’re attracted to in ways we may not consciously recognize. Understanding these patterns can help us become more aware of what draws us toward particular people.

Read more →
October 9, 2026
Why Familiar Often Feels Like Chemistry
October 2, 2026
Why Familiar Often Feels Like Chemistry
October 2, 2026

Why do certain people create such powerful chemistry? Sometimes what feels like attraction may also reflect familiar relational patterns operating outside our conscious awareness.

Read more →
October 2, 2026
What Is the Spark Between Two People?
September 25, 2026
What Is the Spark Between Two People?
September 25, 2026

Why do we feel an immediate spark with some people and not others? This article explores what romantic chemistry may be telling us—and what it can't tell us about a potential relationship.

Read more →
September 25, 2026
Can Attraction Grow Over Time?
September 18, 2026
Can Attraction Grow Over Time?
September 18, 2026

Many people struggle with the dilemma of liking someone, but not feeling strong romantic chemistry. Is this a problem? Are there are any solutions to this confusing experience? What kinds of chemistry can we look for when dating?

Read more →
September 18, 2026
Why Healthy Love Often Feels Less Intense at First
August 7, 2026
Why Healthy Love Often Feels Less Intense at First
August 7, 2026

We have all heard that you’ll “know” when you feel that spark…but is that really the thing all of our hopes and dreams should be riding on? Especially when that spark can be so unreliable? I think there are other things that are better indicators of whether a person or a relationship are likely to be good for us. Read more to find out what.

Read more →
August 7, 2026
Why Some People Feel So Compelling (And What Your Nervous System May Recognize)
July 10, 2026
Why Some People Feel So Compelling (And What Your Nervous System May Recognize)
July 10, 2026

Have you ever met someone and felt a strong, curiously compelling attraction? Sometimes we're drawn to someone long before we understand why. Discerning what we’re drawn to can give us more freedom to choose between how much chemistry/attraction and how much compatibility we want.

Read more →
July 10, 2026
When One of You Wants to Talk & The Other Wants Space
June 26, 2026
When One of You Wants to Talk & The Other Wants Space
June 26, 2026

When one of you want to talk and the other wants space, do you know what each person's reactions are trying to accomplish? Do you know how each is trying to create a greater sense of emotional safety, but that it gets totally misunderstood. If you'd like support slowing these conversations down and building a different way of relating to one another, I'd be glad to connect.

Read more →
June 26, 2026
How My Approach to Dating and Therapy Can Help If You’re Feeling Stuck
May 29, 2026
How My Approach to Dating and Therapy Can Help If You’re Feeling Stuck
May 29, 2026

A lot of people reach out for support at a point where dating has started to feel confusing, discouraging, or just plain exhausting because something about the experience keeps repeating. My approach to dating helps you learn where you get stuck and what patterns you may have been repeating, unconsciously.

Read more →
May 29, 2026
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Bart Hatler, MFT - Relationship Therapist, 870 Market Street, Ste. 451, San Francisco, CA, 94102, United States415 797 8297[email protected]

Bart Hatler, MFT

870 Market St Ste. 451, San Francisco, CA 94102
(415) 797-8297

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