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Bart Hatler, MFT, San Francisco, California

Home
Specialties
Couples Counseling
Dating Therapy
Modalities
Emotionally Focused Therapy
About
Bart Hatler
My Philosophy
Media
FAQs
Blog
Contact
October 23, 2026
Dating
Bart Hatler
Emotionally Unavailable Partners: Why We're ...

Why are we sometimes drawn to people who can't give us the relationship we want? Explore how familiar patterns and fears of intimacy can influence attraction.

Emotionally Unavailable Partners: Why We're Drawn to Them
October 16, 2026
Dating
Bart Hatler
What Your Attraction Template Says About Your ...

Why are we repeatedly attracted to certain kinds of people? Your Attraction Template can help reveal the patterns, experiences, and relational dynamics that shape who feels compelling to you.

What Your Attraction Template Says About Your Love Life
October 9, 2026
Dating
Bart Hatler
How Childhood Experiences Shape Who We’re ...

Our childhood experiences can influence who we’re attracted to in ways we may not consciously recognize. Understanding these patterns can help us become more aware of what draws us toward particular people.

How Childhood Experiences Shape Who We’re Attracted To
October 2, 2026
Dating
Bart Hatler
Why Familiar Often Feels Like Chemistry

Why do certain people create such powerful chemistry? Sometimes what feels like attraction may also reflect familiar relational patterns operating outside our conscious awareness.

Why Familiar Often Feels Like Chemistry
September 25, 2026
Dating
Bart Hatler
What Is the Spark Between Two People?

Why do we feel an immediate spark with some people and not others? This article explores what romantic chemistry may be telling us—and what it can't tell us about a potential relationship.

What Is the Spark Between Two People?
Bart Hatler
November 19, 2024
Couples

Re-pair (Repair) Your Relationship

Bart Hatler
November 19, 2024
Couples

When partners are “paired”, like Bluetooth devices, they are connected.  When there's a problem, partners get disconnected and they need to re-pair. It usually takes a minute. Here are the most important guidelines for re-pairing (repairing) injuries.

Bart Hatler
November 8, 2024
Dating

What is falling in love?

Bart Hatler
November 8, 2024
Dating

Falling in love in our culture is a very powerful romantic ideal.  For better or for worse, it has informed our ideas about relationships, and what they should look like, what we should expect and how we go about finding a partner. 

Bart Hatler
October 21, 2024
Couples

Why You Shouldn't Wait For Major Problems To Try Couples Therapy

Bart Hatler
October 21, 2024
Couples

Let’s relabel couples therapy as something like relationship training. I mean it seems obvious to take some sort of training in anything you want to do halfway decently. Why not do that with one of the most important things in your life, your relationship, family, or marriage?

Bart Hatler
October 13, 2024
Dating

3 Spiritual Psychology Tips for Dating

Bart Hatler
October 13, 2024
Dating

Have you ever wondered why, even after learning dating tips and reading dating books, you keep ending up in the same laundry cycle with dates and relationships?  Here are a few dating tips from a Spiritual Psychology point of view.

Bart Hatler
October 27, 2023
Couples

Not Enough Sex in Your Relationship: What’s Getting in the Way?

Bart Hatler
October 27, 2023
Couples

Having an active sex life with your partner makes you both feel wanted and loved. If you’re frustrated by the lack of sex and intimacy in your relationship, figuring out the reason for the dry spell is the first step to fixing the issue.

Bart Hatler
April 18, 2020
Dating

The Science of Attraction: The Chemistry of Physical Attraction (How Important Is It?)

Bart Hatler
April 18, 2020
Dating

Imagine yourself sitting in a coffee shop with one of your friends and you catch a glimpse of the person who walks in. You just can’t help but notice how attractive they are. Do you ever wonder what’s really going through your head during those moments?

Bart Hatler
March 14, 2020
Couples

7 Essential Elements of a Healthy Relationship

Bart Hatler
March 14, 2020
Couples

Here are a few essential elements of every happy relationship. You and your partner might approach them in your own unique way, but if you’ve been feeling like something is “missing” in your relationship, it could be on this list!

Bart Hatler
March 7, 2020
Couples, Dating, EFT

What Does Your Enneagram Type Have to Do with Your Relationship?

Bart Hatler
March 7, 2020
Couples, Dating, EFT

Wondering how your personal enneagram type is affecting your relationships? Trying to figure out who you are most compatible with and how to improve your love life?

Bart Hatler
February 29, 2020
Dating

The Happiness Effect of Social Media

Bart Hatler
February 29, 2020
Dating

Social media has totally revolutionized this concept and made it possible for us to stay readily connected with loved ones every single day. How can this affect you?

Bart Hatler
February 9, 2020
Dating

The Science of Attraction: Exploring the Chemistry Behind Romantic Allure

Bart Hatler
February 9, 2020
Dating

Should chemistry be the all important factor we have made it out to be when looking for a partner? Here's what’s actually happening in your brain during the attraction phase, when you’re spending time with someone that you just can’t stop thinking about.

Newer Posts
Older Posts

More Couples Counseling + Dating Therapy Blog Posts

Featured
Emotionally Unavailable Partners: Why We're Drawn to Them
October 23, 2026
Emotionally Unavailable Partners: Why We're Drawn to Them
October 23, 2026

Why are we sometimes drawn to people who can't give us the relationship we want? Explore how familiar patterns and fears of intimacy can influence attraction.

Read more →
October 23, 2026
What Your Attraction Template Says About Your Love Life
October 16, 2026
What Your Attraction Template Says About Your Love Life
October 16, 2026

Why are we repeatedly attracted to certain kinds of people? Your Attraction Template can help reveal the patterns, experiences, and relational dynamics that shape who feels compelling to you.

Read more →
October 16, 2026
How Childhood Experiences Shape Who We’re Attracted To
October 9, 2026
How Childhood Experiences Shape Who We’re Attracted To
October 9, 2026

Our childhood experiences can influence who we’re attracted to in ways we may not consciously recognize. Understanding these patterns can help us become more aware of what draws us toward particular people.

Read more →
October 9, 2026
Why Familiar Often Feels Like Chemistry
October 2, 2026
Why Familiar Often Feels Like Chemistry
October 2, 2026

Why do certain people create such powerful chemistry? Sometimes what feels like attraction may also reflect familiar relational patterns operating outside our conscious awareness.

Read more →
October 2, 2026
What Is the Spark Between Two People?
September 25, 2026
What Is the Spark Between Two People?
September 25, 2026

Why do we feel an immediate spark with some people and not others? This article explores what romantic chemistry may be telling us—and what it can't tell us about a potential relationship.

Read more →
September 25, 2026
Can Attraction Grow Over Time?
September 18, 2026
Can Attraction Grow Over Time?
September 18, 2026

Many people struggle with the dilemma of liking someone, but not feeling strong romantic chemistry. Is this a problem? Are there are any solutions to this confusing experience? What kinds of chemistry can we look for when dating?

Read more →
September 18, 2026
Why Healthy Love Often Feels Less Intense at First
August 7, 2026
Why Healthy Love Often Feels Less Intense at First
August 7, 2026

We have all heard that you’ll “know” when you feel that spark…but is that really the thing all of our hopes and dreams should be riding on? Especially when that spark can be so unreliable? I think there are other things that are better indicators of whether a person or a relationship are likely to be good for us. Read more to find out what.

Read more →
August 7, 2026
Why Some People Feel So Compelling (And What Your Nervous System May Recognize)
July 10, 2026
Why Some People Feel So Compelling (And What Your Nervous System May Recognize)
July 10, 2026

Have you ever met someone and felt a strong, curiously compelling attraction? Sometimes we're drawn to someone long before we understand why. Discerning what we’re drawn to can give us more freedom to choose between how much chemistry/attraction and how much compatibility we want.

Read more →
July 10, 2026
When One of You Wants to Talk & The Other Wants Space
June 26, 2026
When One of You Wants to Talk & The Other Wants Space
June 26, 2026

When one of you want to talk and the other wants space, do you know what each person's reactions are trying to accomplish? Do you know how each is trying to create a greater sense of emotional safety, but that it gets totally misunderstood. If you'd like support slowing these conversations down and building a different way of relating to one another, I'd be glad to connect.

Read more →
June 26, 2026
How My Approach to Dating and Therapy Can Help If You’re Feeling Stuck
May 29, 2026
How My Approach to Dating and Therapy Can Help If You’re Feeling Stuck
May 29, 2026

A lot of people reach out for support at a point where dating has started to feel confusing, discouraging, or just plain exhausting because something about the experience keeps repeating. My approach to dating helps you learn where you get stuck and what patterns you may have been repeating, unconsciously.

Read more →
May 29, 2026
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Bart Hatler, MFT - Relationship Therapist, 870 Market Street, Ste. 451, San Francisco, CA, 94102, United States415 797 8297[email protected]

Bart Hatler, MFT

870 Market St Ste. 451, San Francisco, CA 94102
(415) 797-8297

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