Dating As a Career-Driven Professional – The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly




Single in SF?

The Good, BAD + Ugly

Being a career-driven person might make you feel like you have to choose between your job and your love life.

Long hours at the office can pose an obstacle to planning romantic evenings. And you might find that potential partners don’t always understand your commitment to your work. When you love your job, but you’re also actively dating, you can sometimes feel like you’re always caught up in an internal struggle.

You don’t want to give up your professional ambitions, but you also don’t want to lose out on your shot at finding “the one.” What you do want is plenty of time to dedicate to your career and navigating the dating scene.

If you’re in this scenario, you have a few clear advantages and disadvantages when it comes to finding love.

Here’s the good, the bad, and the ugly of modern romance for career-driven professionals.

The Good

Having Appeal

Your passion and drive are intriguing to others. No one wants to date somebody without passion, and you’ve got it in spades. You’re proud of what you do, you have a solid work ethic, and you’re always looking to improve yourself. That’s super attractive!

Yes, most of your stories and anecdotes will relate back to your job. But when you truly love what you do, it shines through when you talk about it. Someone who just knows what they’re meant to do and goes for it without hesitation will never have trouble connecting with others.


When you’re young and carefree, you might equate the word “stability” to “boredom.” But as an adult, you begin to understand the value of stability. And when you’re a career-driven professional, potential partners can see that you have your life together.

The people you’ll attract will be those who prioritize the same things you do. And they’ll appreciate all the effort you’ve put in to build a comfortable life for yourself. It might not sound super exciting on paper, but being in a relationship where both partners are responsible, mature, and trustworthy is incredibly rewarding.

The Bad


Let’s face it: you’re extremely busy. For you, work rarely stops when you leave the office, and sometimes, you feel like you’re never really “off the clock.” You check your email and LinkedIn while you sip your morning coffee. You go out for drinks with coworkers at the end of the day because you value networking opportunities. And you spend your lunch hours having meetings with important clients.

For all those reasons, you might not have much time to socialize with people outside of work. And thus, your circle primarily consists of other people who are employed in your industry.

With everything you have going on, it’s very hard for you to find the time to meet people whose professional paths don’t cross yours. And, of course, carving out the time for a date can be quite tricky. Spontaneity may seem romantic, but it’s usually off the table. And part of you feels a little guilty when you dedicate your precious time to a date that might not work out.

The Ugly

Finding Someone Who “Gets It”

You probably want to be with someone who understands your packed schedule. Someone who gets why you do what you do, and why you’re so motivated to succeed in your field. Ideally, you’d like to meet someone with similar ambitions.

Perhaps you’re also a bit picky because you have high personal standards for yourself. You want to be with someone who sets themselves apart, and you genuinely need a partner.

But here’s the problem: naturally, your “type” is likely to be quite busy as well! This makes it extremely hard to meet like-minded people. After all, the other like-minded people are going to be staying late at the office, just like you.

Obviously, there are many facets to being a career-driven professional who is looking for love. Making the good work for you and finding ways to deal with the bad and the ugly isn’t easy. But with the help of an objective observer who can provide guidance and options, it’s possible.

If you want to learn how to balance your busy work schedule and your love life, relationship therapy can help. Contact me today to find out more about how my approach to relationship and dating therapy can help. Feel free to leave a comment below, drop me an email, or if you want some help changing how you relate and create the love you want in your life - feel free to call me for a free 15 minute phone consultation at (415) 797-8297.  I am San Francisco’s resident relationship therapist helping successful couples and singles create the love and life that they want!