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Bart Hatler, MFT, San Francisco, California

Home
Specialties
Couples Counseling
Dating Therapy
Modalities
Emotionally Focused Therapy
About
Bart Hatler
My Philosophy
Media
FAQs
Blog
Contact
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Little Lessons On Growing Love

San Francisco’s Best Advice About Creating Amazing Relationships And All Things RELATED

Bart Hatler
September 28, 2018
Dating

5 Ways to Soothe Dating Anxiety

Bart Hatler
September 28, 2018
Dating

I recently had a client who was struggling with the all too familiar experience of dating anxiety or what we often call attachment anxiety. Here are some tools and tips for dealing with anxiety and insecurity.

Bart Hatler
September 20, 2018
Dating

Heal From Your Breakup: How Neuroscience Can Help

Bart Hatler
September 20, 2018
Dating

Breaking Up Sucks!  Your heart aches, your thoughts spiral, you don’t want to eat, leave your darkened room. I’ve written a guest blog-post on Medium with other breakup advice, but keep reading for my latest thoughts.

3 Comments
Bart Hatler
September 13, 2018
Dating

Social Anxiety and West Coast Culture: How does it relate to my dating life?

Bart Hatler
September 13, 2018
Dating

I’ve long had a fascination with understanding the differences between East and West Coast culture in the US.  Could West Coast culture be affecting my dating life, let’s explore this…

Bart Hatler
September 6, 2018
Dating, Couples

Can I Have A Great Relationship Even If I Didn't See One Growing Up?

Bart Hatler
September 6, 2018
Dating, Couples

I never met my paternal grandfather so perhaps it warmed my heart a little to see a young boy get to be with his grandfather.  And in such a kind and affectionate way, somewhat uncharacteristic of an older generations emotional sophistication.  Can I have a great relationship even if I didn't see one growing up?

Bart Hatler
August 14, 2018
Dating

Part III: 3 Tips to Get Them to Swipe Right + Rewire Your Brain for Love

Bart Hatler
August 14, 2018
Dating

What is “enoughness” and what’s it got to do with dating? Let’s explore this.

Bart Hatler
August 7, 2018
Dating

Part II: 3 Tips to Get Them to Swipe Right + Rewire Your Brain for Love

Bart Hatler
August 7, 2018
Dating

So, how can self-love get me more swipes? Let’s see what role confidence can play in the dating scene.

Bart Hatler
July 31, 2018
Dating

3 Tips to Get Them to Swipe Right + Rewire Your Brain for Love

Bart Hatler
July 31, 2018
Dating

How do I meet someone so I can get off these damn dating apps? Let’s see how…

Bart Hatler
July 24, 2018
EFT

Are You Feeling Hopeless About Your Relationship? 3 Ways to Start Feeling Better.

Bart Hatler
July 24, 2018
EFT

You’re feeling hopeless about your relationship, but does that mean you’re doomed?  Or is there still hope in spite of that sinking feeling?

Bart Hatler
July 17, 2018
Dating

Stop Telling Yourself That BS Story About Being Single

Bart Hatler
July 17, 2018
Dating

Of course it feels good to be in love or in a good relationship…at least it does until you and your new sweetie start arguing about your differences or the shine otherwise starts to wear off of the romance.  But, yeah it feels good. Everything about being single SUCKS!

Bart Hatler
April 7, 2018
Dating

Why Am I Still Single?

Bart Hatler
April 7, 2018
Dating

When Everything’s Clicking

You like their profile pic.  They like you back. They send a flirtatious message.  You respond. There’s good banter.  You feel hopeful. What comes next is anyone’s guess.

Newer Posts
Older Posts

More Couples Counseling + Dating Therapy Blog Posts

Featured
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Jul 4, 2025
Dating Problems Aren’t Always About Strategy—They’re About Psychology
Jul 4, 2025

If you’ve read all the dating tips, downloaded every app, and feel like you’re doing everything “right”—but still find yourself stuck, frustrated, or hurt—you’re not alone.

Jul 4, 2025
couples upset BH (1).jpg
Jun 20, 2025
What If We Keep Having the Same Argument?
Jun 20, 2025

You’ve had this argument before—maybe ten, maybe a hundred times. One of you gets triggered. The other reacts. Then things spiral—again…

Jun 20, 2025
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Jun 6, 2025
If You Don’t Set Relationship Principles, Anti-Principles Will Run the Show
Jun 6, 2025

Most couples don’t actively decide how they want to treat each other. But here’s the problem: if you don’t create relationship principles on purpose, anti-principles will take over.

Jun 6, 2025
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May 30, 2025
What Am I Doing Wrong? I'm So Frustrated With My Dating Life
May 30, 2025

If you’ve ever stared at your phone, replaying a confusing message—or no message at all—and thought, What am I doing wrong?, you’re not alone…

May 30, 2025
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May 16, 2025
Is It Too Late to Save Our Relationship?
May 16, 2025

“I think we waited too long.” But here’s the thing I’ve seen again and again in couples therapy most of the time, it’s not too late. It’s just that the old strategies have stopped working, and no new ones have taken their place—yet.

May 16, 2025
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Apr 18, 2025
What Do We Do When One Person Wants Sex and the Other Doesn’t?
Apr 18, 2025

One partner wants sex or wants it more often. The other doesn’t feel ready, interested, or safe enough to connect that way in the moment, or for longer.  But it doesn’t have to be a make or break issue for the relationship.

Apr 18, 2025
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Dec 16, 2024
Getting Through The Holidays Unscathed
Dec 16, 2024

While the happiest time of the year it may be for some, unfortunately, the holidays can also bring up a lot for many of us. Whether it's visiting family, getting pulled into old roles and dynamics, the stress of traveling or shopping, the pain of isolation and loneliness, or conflict arising in partnerships and families... Here are some tips on how to manage and get through it with a few less bumps and bruises.

Dec 16, 2024
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Nov 19, 2024
Re-pair (Repair) Your Relationship
Nov 19, 2024

When partners are “paired”, like Bluetooth devices, they are connected.  When there's a problem, partners get disconnected and they need to re-pair. It usually takes a minute. Here are the most important guidelines for re-pairing (repairing) injuries.

Nov 19, 2024
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Nov 8, 2024
What is falling in love?
Nov 8, 2024

Falling in love in our culture is a very powerful romantic ideal.  For better or for worse, it has informed our ideas about relationships, and what they should look like, what we should expect and how we go about finding a partner. 

Nov 8, 2024
couples5 (1).jpg
Oct 21, 2024
Why You Shouldn't Wait For Major Problems To Try Couples Therapy
Oct 21, 2024

Let’s relabel couples therapy as something like relationship training. I mean it seems obvious to take some sort of training in anything you want to do halfway decently. Why not do that with one of the most important things in your life, your relationship, family, or marriage?

Oct 21, 2024
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Bart Hatler, MFT - Relationship Therapist, 870 Market Street, Ste. 451, San Francisco, CA, 94102, United States415 797 8297contact@barthatler.com

Bart Hatler, MFT

870 Market St Ste. 451, San Francisco, CA 94102
(415) 797-8297

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