Home
Specialties
Couples Counseling
Dating Therapy
Modalities
Emotionally Focused Therapy
About
Bart Hatler
My Philosophy
Media
FAQs
Blog
Contact

Bart Hatler, MFT, San Francisco, California

Home
Specialties
Couples Counseling
Dating Therapy
Modalities
Emotionally Focused Therapy
About
Bart Hatler
My Philosophy
Media
FAQs
Blog
Contact
HATLER-shadow-couple-in-love-sunset-min.jpg

Little Lessons On Growing Love

San Francisco’s Best Advice About Creating Amazing Relationships And All Things RELATED

Bart Hatler
August 12, 2019
Dating

Are You Shooting Your Dating Life in the Foot--or Worse?!

Bart Hatler
August 12, 2019
Dating

Are you sick and tired of dating or relationships that don't work. Do you get sick and tired of meeting the wrong kind of person…the one’s that Don’t. Work. Out?  Ok, ready for this: Are YOU actually avoiding intimacy by pursuing certain types? 

Bart Hatler
October 15, 2018
Couples

The Right Way to Say, “I’m Sorry.”

Bart Hatler
October 15, 2018
Couples

In relationship it’s inevitable that we’ll step on each other’s toes and have different needs that conflict.  And it’s likely we’ll want or need different things at the same time.  When this happens, the situation is ripe for conflict, hurt and disappointment. So, when the dust has settled, how do you repair? 

Bart Hatler
October 4, 2018
Couples

5 Questions That Create Happy Relationships

Bart Hatler
October 4, 2018
Couples

Not everyone is super skilled or comfortable with “real” communication.  Here are five quick questions to help you out.

Bart Hatler
September 28, 2018
Dating

5 Ways to Soothe Dating Anxiety

Bart Hatler
September 28, 2018
Dating

I recently had a client who was struggling with the all too familiar experience of dating anxiety or what we often call attachment anxiety. Here are some tools and tips for dealing with anxiety and insecurity.

Bart Hatler
September 20, 2018
Dating

Heal From Your Breakup: How Neuroscience Can Help

Bart Hatler
September 20, 2018
Dating

Breaking Up Sucks!  Your heart aches, your thoughts spiral, you don’t want to eat, leave your darkened room. I’ve written a guest blog-post on Medium with other breakup advice, but keep reading for my latest thoughts.

3 Comments
Bart Hatler
September 13, 2018
Dating

Social Anxiety and West Coast Culture: How does it relate to my dating life?

Bart Hatler
September 13, 2018
Dating

I’ve long had a fascination with understanding the differences between East and West Coast culture in the US.  Could West Coast culture be affecting my dating life, let’s explore this…

Bart Hatler
September 6, 2018
Dating, Couples

Can I Have A Great Relationship Even If I Didn't See One Growing Up?

Bart Hatler
September 6, 2018
Dating, Couples

I never met my paternal grandfather so perhaps it warmed my heart a little to see a young boy get to be with his grandfather.  And in such a kind and affectionate way, somewhat uncharacteristic of an older generations emotional sophistication.  Can I have a great relationship even if I didn't see one growing up?

Bart Hatler
August 14, 2018
Dating

Part III: 3 Tips to Get Them to Swipe Right + Rewire Your Brain for Love

Bart Hatler
August 14, 2018
Dating

What is “enoughness” and what’s it got to do with dating? Let’s explore this.

Bart Hatler
August 7, 2018
Dating

Part II: 3 Tips to Get Them to Swipe Right + Rewire Your Brain for Love

Bart Hatler
August 7, 2018
Dating

So, how can self-love get me more swipes? Let’s see what role confidence can play in the dating scene.

Bart Hatler
July 31, 2018
Dating

3 Tips to Get Them to Swipe Right + Rewire Your Brain for Love

Bart Hatler
July 31, 2018
Dating

How do I meet someone so I can get off these damn dating apps? Let’s see how…

Newer Posts
Older Posts

More Couples Counseling + Dating Therapy Blog Posts

Featured
pexels-kate-andreeshcheva-35129697-9157732.webp
Oct 3, 2025
The Real Reason You Keep Getting Attached to the Wrong People
Oct 3, 2025

You meet someone. They’re magnetic. Interesting. There’s a spark. You feel the pull—you’re excited, maybe even a little lit up inside.

Fast forward a few weeks or months: they’re emotionally unavailable, avoidant, inconsistent, or something just feels off.

Oct 3, 2025
logan-weaver-lgnwvr-j9Z3QVARDts-unsplash.webp
Sep 19, 2025
The Chemistry of Attraction: What’s Really Happening?
Sep 19, 2025

You lock eyes with someone across the room. Your stomach flutters. They smile, and you’re lit up—nervous, alive, pulled in. You tell your friend, “I don’t know what it is, but the chemistry is insane.”

Sep 19, 2025
BH dating blog7 (1).jpg
Sep 5, 2025
Dating Problems Aren’t Always About Strategy—They’re About Psychology
Sep 5, 2025

If you’ve read all the dating tips, downloaded every app, and feel like you’re doing everything “right”—but still find yourself stuck, frustrated, or hurt—you’re not alone.

Sep 5, 2025
vitaly-gariev-yrSta3T5GDs-unsplash.webp
Aug 29, 2025
What If We Keep Having the Same Argument?
Aug 29, 2025

You’ve had this argument before—maybe ten, maybe a hundred times. One of you gets triggered. The other reacts. Then things spiral—again…

Aug 29, 2025
bh alone dating (1).jpg
Aug 15, 2025
What Am I Doing Wrong? I'm So Frustrated With My Dating Life
Aug 15, 2025

If you’ve ever stared at your phone, replaying a confusing message—or no message at all—and thought, What am I doing wrong?, you’re not alone…

Aug 15, 2025
BH is it too late (1).jpg
Aug 1, 2025
Is It Too Late to Save Our Relationship?
Aug 1, 2025

“I think we waited too long.” But here’s the thing I’ve seen again and again in couples therapy most of the time, it’s not too late. It’s just that the old strategies have stopped working, and no new ones have taken their place—yet.

Aug 1, 2025
BH couple in bed (1).jpg
Jul 18, 2025
What Do We Do When One Person Wants Sex and the Other Doesn’t?
Jul 18, 2025

One partner wants sex or wants it more often. The other doesn’t feel ready, interested, or safe enough to connect that way in the moment, or for longer.  But it doesn’t have to be a make or break issue for the relationship.

Jul 18, 2025
BH blog 8 (1).jpg
Jul 4, 2025
If You Don’t Set Relationship Principles, Anti-Principles Will Run the Show
Jul 4, 2025

Most couples don’t actively decide how they want to treat each other. But here’s the problem: if you don’t create relationship principles on purpose, anti-principles will take over.

Jul 4, 2025
holiday stress.jpg
Dec 16, 2024
Getting Through The Holidays Unscathed
Dec 16, 2024

While the happiest time of the year it may be for some, unfortunately, the holidays can also bring up a lot for many of us. Whether it's visiting family, getting pulled into old roles and dynamics, the stress of traveling or shopping, the pain of isolation and loneliness, or conflict arising in partnerships and families... Here are some tips on how to manage and get through it with a few less bumps and bruises.

Dec 16, 2024
sync.jpg
Nov 19, 2024
Re-pair (Repair) Your Relationship
Nov 19, 2024

When partners are “paired”, like Bluetooth devices, they are connected.  When there's a problem, partners get disconnected and they need to re-pair. It usually takes a minute. Here are the most important guidelines for re-pairing (repairing) injuries.

Nov 19, 2024
Back to Top
Bart Hatler, MFT - Relationship Therapist, 870 Market Street, Ste. 451, San Francisco, CA, 94102, United States415 797 8297contact@barthatler.com

Bart Hatler, MFT

870 Market St Ste. 451, San Francisco, CA 94102
(415) 797-8297

© 2024 Bart Hatler | Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | Good Faith Estimate