Romantic Relationships: NOT the Key to Happiness?!
When you’re single, you might find yourself looking around and seeing nothing but happy couples.
Perhaps you begin missing a former partner or wondering if you’ll ever meet the right person. You may even feel a little jealous of your friends who are in relationships. And maybe you worry that you’ve been out of the dating game for so long that you have no shot.
But is romantic love really the pinnacle of happiness?
Nope! In fact, choosing to be happy and single is far more satisfying than being in a relationship with the wrong person.
Here are five ways to be happily single and embrace the art of flying solo.
1. Take Responsibility
The moment you decide to take full responsibility for every aspect of your life, especially your overall happiness, is the moment that you assume full agency and stop allowing others to control your emotional state.
It can feel a little scary at first, of course. But it’s a powerful mindset to adopt.
And when you do meet someone special, you want to go into the relationship with this mindset. If you expect your future partner to be responsible for your happiness all of the time, you will inevitably be disappointed.
2. Foster Companionate Love
If you’re not in a romantic relationship, you have more time and energy to devote to your friends and family.
Sure, you may occasionally feel like a third wheel when you’re tagging along with your couple friends, but having more opportunities to see your loved ones is a blessing. Take advantage of it!
Schedule some movie nights, go out to dinner together, have casual dinner parties, plan weekend road trips, and just make the most of it! You won’t always have so much free time with your friends and relatives.
3. Stay Busy
If you feel like you’re stuck in a rut because you’ve been single for a while, it’s time to ask yourself if you need to shake things up on your own rather than waiting for “the one” to come along and change your life.
Is there a hobby you’ve been thinking of trying or a class you’ve wanted to sign up for? Are there any trips that you want to take, but you just haven’t gotten around to booking the ticket yet? Could joining a gym or a yoga studio help you get out of your house more often and meet some new people while getting fit?
Keeping your schedule full can help you avoid dwelling on unhelpful thoughts; what’s more, it can put you in a positive, more neutral space where someone unexpected can more easily find their way to you.
4. Focus on the Positives
When you’re single, you have more time to do… well… whatever you want! You don’t have to confirm your decisions with anyone else or make compromises to align your schedule with theirs.
In fact, you’re more independent, and you learn to be self-sufficient. Not only do you have complete control over your choices, but you can enjoy more time to yourself if you’re an introvert or go out more with friends if you’re an extrovert. And you definitely save a little money when the holidays roll around!
There are plenty of perks to being single that you might miss if you eventually get into a relationship.
5. Share Your Happiness With Others
Happiness is like a candle flame—you can brighten someone else’s day and spread your good vibes without losing your own light.
The key to true happiness isn’t being in a relationship; it’s your willingness to be generous, to help others, to lift someone up when they’re feeling down. Do some community service, volunteer, and be selfless.
And then watch. All of the positivity you put into the world will eventually come back around to you. The path towards feeling loved starts with loving others without expecting anything in return.
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Still feeling down about your single status and wondering if you can truly find happiness on your own? A therapist can help you embrace your independence. Contact me today to discuss your options.
Find out more about how my approach to relationship and dating therapy can help. Feel free to leave a comment below, drop me an email, or if you want some help changing how you relate and create the love you want in your life - feel free to use the contact form to request a free 15 minute phone consultation. I am San Francisco’s resident relationship therapist helping successful couples and singles create the love and life that they want!