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Bart Hatler, MFT, San Francisco, California

Home
Specialties
Couples Counseling
Dating Therapy
Modalities
Emotionally Focused Therapy
About
Bart Hatler
My Philosophy
Media
FAQs
Blog
Contact
November 10, 2025
Couples
Bart Hatler
Couples Therapy Isn’t Just for Crisis — It’s ...

When most people think of couples therapy, they think of conflict. But here’s the truth: couples therapy isn’t just for crisis—it’s for growth. And if you wait until your relationship is in survival mode, you may be missing the most powerful opportunities it has to offer.

Couples Therapy Isn’t Just for Crisis — It’s for Growth
Bart Hatler
February 9, 2020
Dating

The Science of Attraction: Exploring the Chemistry Behind Romantic Allure

Bart Hatler
February 9, 2020
Dating

Should chemistry be the all important factor we have made it out to be when looking for a partner? Here's what’s actually happening in your brain during the attraction phase, when you’re spending time with someone that you just can’t stop thinking about.

Bart Hatler
January 15, 2020
Dating

Dating in the City vs. Dating in the Burbs: Pros and Cons to Looking for Love Outside of San Francisco

Bart Hatler
January 15, 2020
Dating

Life in San Francisco seems to move at a mile a minute. The idea of going on dates with a couple of different people over the course of one weekend and bouncing between several social gatherings on a Saturday night seems pretty normal.

Bart Hatler
January 8, 2020
Dating

Romantic Relationships Are NOT the Key to Happiness! -- 5 Ways to Be Happily Single

Bart Hatler
January 8, 2020
Dating

When you’re single, you might find yourself looking around and seeing nothing but happy couples. But is romantic love really the pinnacle of happiness? Here are five ways to be happily single and embrace the art of flying solo.

Bart Hatler
January 1, 2020
Dating, EFT

Dating Intelligence: How Knowing Your Attachment Style Could Be an Advantage

Bart Hatler
January 1, 2020
Dating, EFT

Your attachment style describes, predicts and makes sense of how you relate to others in dating and intimate relationships. Here’s how knowing your attachment style can help you find the right person.

Bart Hatler
December 27, 2019
Dating

What’s Your Dating Intelligence Quotient (D-IQ)?

Bart Hatler
December 27, 2019
Dating

Do you know how you score on a D-IQ (Intelligence Quotient for Dating) test? Here are some basic dating tips to help you with your D-IQ. 

Bart Hatler
December 27, 2019
Couples, EFT

Holiday Stress Survival Guide: 6 Practical Tips for Protecting Your Relationship

Bart Hatler
December 27, 2019
Couples, EFT

When tensions are running high during the holidays, you might take out your frustrations on your partner, or you may notice that they’ve been doing the same to you.

Bart Hatler
October 23, 2019
Dating

How to Overcome the Brutal Realities of Online Dating Anxiety

Bart Hatler
October 23, 2019
Dating

It seems like everyone is giving online dating a shot these days. This can cause anxiety. Whatever it is that makes you nervous, here’s how to deal with the anxieties connected to online dating.

Bart Hatler
October 20, 2019

Navigating the Crazy Dating Scene in San Francisco: 3 Reasons You Need a Dating and Relationship Therapist

Bart Hatler
October 20, 2019

Although San Francisco is a vibrant, bustling city, it’s also a uniquely difficult place to find a long term partner.

Bart Hatler
October 10, 2019
Dating

Dating In SF: How to Find True Love...Not Just Sex

Bart Hatler
October 10, 2019
Dating

Forget running into a special someone at the grocery store or meeting in line at a coffee shop. Everyone out here is busy swiping left and right on Tinder, Bumble or The League! Here’s how to find true love in SF, Silicon Valley and anywhere in between (not just sex).

Bart Hatler
September 7, 2019
Dating

Information-Age Dating App Irriatations: Consider the Pros and Cons

Bart Hatler
September 7, 2019
Dating

Sure, dating apps are convenient. But, sometimes, it seems like these apps can make the modern dating scene even more complicated. Here’s a breakdown of the pros and cons of dating apps.

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More Couples Counseling + Dating Therapy Blog Posts

Featured
Couples Therapy Isn’t Just for Crisis — It’s for Growth
Nov 10, 2025
Couples Therapy Isn’t Just for Crisis — It’s for Growth
Nov 10, 2025

When most people think of couples therapy, they think of conflict. But here’s the truth: couples therapy isn’t just for crisis—it’s for growth. And if you wait until your relationship is in survival mode, you may be missing the most powerful opportunities it has to offer.

Nov 10, 2025
pexels-andres-ayrton-6578785 (1).jpg
Oct 17, 2025
Did You Know Your Anti-Principles Are Wreaking Havoc in Your Relationship?
Oct 17, 2025

Most couples don’t sit down and create a shared code of conduct for how they want to treat each other—especially when things get hard. And yet, every couple has operating principles, whether they’re spoken or not.

Some are intentional and strengthening, and then there are the anti-principles—the unconscious agreements or tolerated behaviors that slowly erode trust, intimacy, and safety over time.

Oct 17, 2025
pexels-kate-andreeshcheva-35129697-9157732.webp
Oct 3, 2025
The Real Reason You Keep Getting Attached to the Wrong People
Oct 3, 2025

You meet someone. They’re magnetic. Interesting. There’s a spark. You feel the pull—you’re excited, maybe even a little lit up inside.

Fast forward a few weeks or months: they’re emotionally unavailable, avoidant, inconsistent, or something just feels off.

Oct 3, 2025
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Sep 19, 2025
The Chemistry of Attraction: What’s Really Happening?
Sep 19, 2025

You lock eyes with someone across the room. Your stomach flutters. They smile, and you’re lit up—nervous, alive, pulled in. You tell your friend, “I don’t know what it is, but the chemistry is insane.”

Sep 19, 2025
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Sep 5, 2025
Dating Problems Aren’t Always About Strategy—They’re About Psychology
Sep 5, 2025

If you’ve read all the dating tips, downloaded every app, and feel like you’re doing everything “right”—but still find yourself stuck, frustrated, or hurt—you’re not alone.

Sep 5, 2025
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Aug 29, 2025
What If We Keep Having the Same Argument?
Aug 29, 2025

You’ve had this argument before—maybe ten, maybe a hundred times. One of you gets triggered. The other reacts. Then things spiral—again…

Aug 29, 2025
bh alone dating (1).jpg
Aug 15, 2025
What Am I Doing Wrong? I'm So Frustrated With My Dating Life
Aug 15, 2025

If you’ve ever stared at your phone, replaying a confusing message—or no message at all—and thought, What am I doing wrong?, you’re not alone…

Aug 15, 2025
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Aug 1, 2025
Is It Too Late to Save Our Relationship?
Aug 1, 2025

“I think we waited too long.” But here’s the thing I’ve seen again and again in couples therapy most of the time, it’s not too late. It’s just that the old strategies have stopped working, and no new ones have taken their place—yet.

Aug 1, 2025
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Jul 18, 2025
What Do We Do When One Person Wants Sex and the Other Doesn’t?
Jul 18, 2025

One partner wants sex or wants it more often. The other doesn’t feel ready, interested, or safe enough to connect that way in the moment, or for longer.  But it doesn’t have to be a make or break issue for the relationship.

Jul 18, 2025
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Jul 4, 2025
If You Don’t Set Relationship Principles, Anti-Principles Will Run the Show
Jul 4, 2025

Most couples don’t actively decide how they want to treat each other. But here’s the problem: if you don’t create relationship principles on purpose, anti-principles will take over.

Jul 4, 2025
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Bart Hatler, MFT - Relationship Therapist, 870 Market Street, Ste. 451, San Francisco, CA, 94102, United States415 797 8297contact@barthatler.com

Bart Hatler, MFT

870 Market St Ste. 451, San Francisco, CA 94102
(415) 797-8297

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